Their Secret
by Crystal Chandelier
Summary: Giving women what they want here Very M rated, EC. Work in progress. Am taking extreme liberties with the ALW movieI know but will make it work to fit within it. Maybe this is WHY. Same story with my own deleted scenes.
1. Default Chapter

They finally met in the flesh. He had prepared for this night for many years. The threat of Raoul, a formidable flesh and blood suitor, and her constant begging to actually meet with him face to face-- to ease her own fears for her sanity and to indulge a wonderful curiosity that was a part of her-- forced this upon him. He was happy, yet unsure, she was still very frightened, he could see but sensed she was also comfortable with him, someone who had been her protector, and friend for many many years.

She felt trepidation, but was not frightened as he thought. He had been everything to her for so long. She had caught glimpses of him shadowed in box 5, protected by Madame Giry from all concerned. He was a presence that brought fear to everyone at the opera house, but she knew the difference between the gossip and the man. Raoul was a distant memory to her-- they had enjoyed one another very much as children, but she had not seen him since she was a child. He had grown very handsome and she was flattered by his attention that night, but knew her angel was watching and feared for Raoul's safety. She knew it was wrong for her to ask the Phantom this, but she needed to know that the man she waited for would give her his love. She wanted a real love. How long ago had their friendship and familial closeness turned to this? When she sang for Andre and Firmin, and looked upon the faces of all around she realized how well he had taught her, what a gift he had given her and realized then how much he cared for her. While the other girls were enjoying their many suitors there at the opera house, she accepted no one. Not because he asked, only because she hoped one day he would come to her in this way. She understood thatwhatever lay under that mask, was what kept him from her and the reason for his strange presence there but she didn't care about that. She didn't understand why he would not trust her. She had demanded this and now followed him, thrilled to the core of her being. She could hear Raoul pounding on the door-- she was concerned for him but all concerns floated away down the passageway.

The cavern was dark, as he had vanquished all candlelight when she had fallen. There was a faint glow from the lantern in the bedroom.When he went to check on her again--she seemed deeply asleep, no doubt she had not only been overwhelmed mentally but was also physically exhausted from the performance. He sat by the bed engrossed in thought.

He was wrong to bring her here he thought. He loved her so entirely he never wanted her to leave the Operahouse, but had known for the last few years a young man would come and take her away. He had wanted to give her a reason to stay. He knew he could not keep her there though, it would be her choice to stay. Stay and become the diva she was meant to be.They could continue their secret relationship in the depths of the Operahouse. And why not? He had a power here no one would dare usurp.

These new opera house mgrs were a problem though he sighed, wishing Monsieur LeFevre had not become ill and hadn't desperately sold the Operahouse to the first fools who offered him an extraordinary amount of money. The doctors had frightened him badly and fear of death had fogged his thinking. They told him to move quickly to a different climate. He and LeFevere had had a good relationship. He had known about his presence there since LeFevere had been presented with his music by Madame Giry. It had been brilliant and she had revealed Erik's secret to him as she trusted him. They protected him for years. In his haste to sell the opera house he had decided that Erik's secret should be kept, but did warn them about the 'Opera Ghost' and hoped Madame Giry would be able to sort things out once she trusted them. It had not gone well so far however and he was forced to consider leaving. He did not want to leave Christine. She kept him here. When his love turned to this deeper want he did not know, it simply did happen. He sat thinking about possibilities as she slept.

Christine awoke to the touch of a hand caressing her face. She didn't move but allowed this to happen. She wasn't sure what she wanted but she wanted this strange relationship to progress and had felt the question in his caress. All the years she had loved this man, she wanted to repay him for his love, patience and the gift he had bestowed upon her. She understood from his song earlier his need for her, and her own want. She reached and grasped his hand quickly and kissed his fingertips. He was at her side in the bed immediately. He had never known physical relations of this sort before. Indeed no one had ever touched him, but he was not uncomfortable with her. He had known of such things... he knew everything that went on within the walls of the Opera house. Much went on indeed. As a young man he had witnessed many couplings that had awakened in him an urge which he finally quelled, deciding no woman would ever want him in that way. Instead he concentrated on Christine's voice, molding it into perfection, and creating fantastic Operas that were credited to the Operahouse Mgr. himself.

Now he was at a loss, but let instinct take over. He stroked her body gently, then kissed her mouth-- it was all he needed to know. He worked his way down her exquisite form and she allowed him every inch until he reached a place that yearned for his touch. Here he stopped until she gently urged him.She felt pleasure and was amazed by how relaxed she was, but this was someone she knew for many years and in that darkness, somehow it felt right. He seemed to know exactly how to please her, but she didn't need much help as she was burning with a slow burn of passion, built up from the previous hours of the night. She climaxed, and he, trembling, asked for permission to continue. Of course. He then swiftly undressed and took her, gently at first then with a force that entailed years of waiting. She was no longer innocent. He slept beside her and as she cleaved to his body, she wondered still what lay behind the mask.


	2. Unforgiving Past

She arose to an empty bed, the cavern completely silent. Leaving the bedroom she gazed out at this beautiful place so far underground and teasingly sang, ending with the fact that the Opera Ghost was indeed a man. He at the organ still could not believe what had happened. She had given herself to him and his emotions were raw, running wild. He could not bring himself to her, but allowed her to approach him. The mask. He knew she was going to take it off and he was allowing it to happen but when it was actually off, reflex kicked in. The hot Scottish blood that was half of his heritage ran through him now, his words and action cruel molded by too many years of abuse, used now to keep her away from him. His anger was hot but evaporated quickly, but he knew it was too late.

He felt a horrible guilt and agony and decided to return her quickly to his one friend who he knew would take care of her, Antoinette Giry. He led her first to a bath he had prepared for her. Christine was shaking but quickly relaxed in the bath which was still hot. It was in a room hidden from view, there was also a water closet and a mirror with shaving utensils, stage make up and and expensive looking cologne strewn across a counter under it. She had never experienced a bath before, only cold showers in the dormitories. He saw her hesitant look and urged her in before leaving-- it's alright, it is one of my few pleasures he said, you will feel much better.

She emerged washed and calmer. He was sitting writing something at a cluttered table, far off. " I am ready" she said. He immediately jumped up punching a seal on a letter and gathered up some more.

"Christine I will make this up to you I promise. Your success _will _continue." As they climbed back up, he sang gently to her, haunting with his words of last night. As they reached the top of the stairs and before he led her through the secret pathways he used to travel unseen through the vast opera house he took her hand and begged her forgiveness. "Someday I will tell you of my past, but I still cannot speak of it. Last night was a dream Christine, I will cherish it always. If you can find it within your heart to forgive me and return to me, I will be there for you waiting. If not, I will understand and always be with you protecting, teaching." He drew her close and she reveled in his warmth and felt his racing heart which matched her own. He then quickly led her to Antoinette Giry's room.


	3. Honorable Intentions

It was early morning and Antoinette Giry was preparing herself for morning lessons. She answered the sharp knock that was a code, hurriedly. They entered even more quickly. "What has happened?" She looked from him to Christine.

Christine looked down and started to speak but Erik broke in--"I brought her here for you to protect," he said quickly, "no one must disturb her. There will be changes in tonight's program, Christine will play countess. We have been practicing…she knows the part." It was true, he trained her in every active role of Carlotta's. It had only been recently that he thought her ready for it. Antoinette seemed to accept this and took immediate control after making sure Christine was not harmed.

"My dear why don't you go lie down, we will speak shortly and I will send for Meg she said gently." Christine seemed relieved and left to the adjoining bedroom. She gave him one last look and he understood-- he would not reveal their secret. "Sit down Erik," she said not as gently, after she had left. He did. She spoke firmly. " I have allowed this relationship to continue for many years as it has done you both a great deal of good. I cannot allow this to continue until I know of your intentions."

He fully understood her concern. "I love her Antoinette. She has seen my face. I have left it to her to decide if she willaccept me as a man. I would marry her, Mme if she would have me. It has been my desire for some time now. With things the way they are, I fear I will have to leave here and start a new life. I have decided on America. I cannot leave without her."

"Please be patient and allow me to deal with Andre and Firmin, patience is not your virtue," she smiled wryly. "Threats will not help this situation, nor will continuous manipulation on your part." She sighed with acceptance. "You have as many problems as you have talents Monsieur…I don't know if you are ready for the outside world.

His brow creased, "Madame, I will have no choice regardless of whether I am ready or not. I hope I do _not _have to leave here but if I must…give them the letters Mme, he said. " I have promised her the role of Countess-- it must happen." He then rose quickly and turned to leave," please take care of her Madame," he said with tears in his eyes, and disappeared.


	4. Notes

Chap 4

Mme Giry sat thinking in the chair. She knew Christine had been gone all night and practice for Il Muto was not the reason. Mme Giry took care of everyone in the opera house. Her emotional distance had much to do with the man whose secret she protected daily, but her efforts were always greatly rewarded. He had paved the way for her success. Without him she would not have been able to provide for Meg and herself, would not be ballet mistress.

Upon arrival at the opera house Christine had been a shattered doll of a child. Antoinette had brought her into her own living quarters in effort to reach her but she slipped further and further away. The only thing keeping her alive was her absolute dogged belief the angel of music would be sent to her by her father. Gustave Daae was a talented musician who cared for his daughter deeply and recognized the beauty of her voice early on. Before he died he had made provisions that she was to be taken into the renowned Opera Populaire. In his delirium at the end he hoped only to give her something, some kind of hope.

Antoinette in desperation turned to Erik with a plan. She asked that he pose as 'the Angel of Music' for this child. It was only to be a one time occurrence to bring her back to the world, restore her faith but Erik felt strongly for this child in her grief, and loneliness. He had listened in to many voice lessons by renowned teachers within the busy walls of the Opera house through the years and knew from Antoinette she had a promising voice. He decided to _be _her Angel of Music and protect her as any guardian angel would. She instantly came out of the fog and thrived, cherishing her secret 'angel'.

Antoinette decided whatever had happened would remain between them, and went to fetch Meg, taking the notes with her to send. One was for the new patron Raoul she noticed…he could be a problem. She was sure she could work things out, smooth things over with the new managers. She had not started out well with them, notenjoying their leering appreciation of her _daughters_. She softened though thinking of how beautiful they both were and with her constant extra attention-- they did stand out as dancers, one could not help but notice them above the rest.

Carlotta would not stand for this however she thought. Her hold at the opera house was mostly due to her husband Piangi's influence and with the threat of Christine, and her enormous response, even he could not ensure her position as diva. She would not allow Christine an inch while she still reigned.


	5. The Opera Ghost

"_ Desperate but not serious  
Your kisses drive me delirious_

If I were kind and adoring  
How would that be?  
Very boring  
--Adam Ant, Desperate but not Serious.

Chapter 5 The Opera Ghost

Antoinette watched the proceeding Opera with trepidation. Christine had slept several hours only to awaken when she had sent Meg to talk to her. They needed to practice for the nights performance. All Meg could extract from her was " He was my secret Meg. You should ask your mother about him as he is also hers." Meg deemed her physically and emotionally fine , although she was understandably upset about the nights casting. It was very disappointing to her, insulting , and she feared her lovers anger would prove dangerous for some.

Mme sighed and thought maybe the only way they would learn was through baptism by fire. She only hoped his wrath would not be too great. She knew it would anger him, Christine being treated this way, and there was the added aggravation of Raoul occupying box 5. The managers refused to speak to her however, her hands were tied and she had much to do in preparation.

Tonight he was The Phantom. He had watched Antoinette produce the notes, and had seen Carlotta twist the two inexperienced fools to her liking. He was furious at Christine being cast the pageboy, and the last straw was Raoul taking over his box permanently. He was losing ground and had to do something quickly to regain control. They had simply chosen to ignore his every _request_.

If Christine came to him he would gladly leave this place tonight but he was afraid he had overstepped his ground with her, this was too much for her too soon. He regretted his haste last night but had she had given him the slightest protestation, he would have quickly removed her from his intense desire. It was wrong of him though he thought, he knew she thought too much of him. Although he knew she no longer believed in the angel of music as many children stopped believing in St. Nicholas or the tooth fairy, she still had a certain awe of him. He had a power in the opera house until now, and most understood that some of it's most fantastic operas, claimed lightly by Fevre were in actuality, written by the Opera Ghost.

He had never meant to be feared this way, but grudgingly allowed it to happen as fear secured his privacy. He did not like for the girls to be frightened however. He knew what it was like to live in fear. Buquet had become a real thorn in his side. Not only was he too curious about his whereabouts and dangerously close to knowing the entrance to his lair, but he was purposely scaring the girls, in order to be in their midst. He claimed to have seen him on several occasions, and had gained notoriety in this way. He was a lazy drunkard as well. Erik had no patience for those who knowingly abused the gift their creator had given them, their unscarred and undistorted physical forms.

He had been watching him all night he noticed gritting his teeth. He had played with him always staying two steps in front of him-- but his anger had been rising as he persisted. "Did I not instruct that box 5 was to be kept empty?" He had learned the art of throwing his voice long ago. He concentrated again on Buquet, wanting to be sure he had not seen him switch Carlotta's spritzer. He obviously had not and he moved back to enjoy the proceedings. He had enjoyed Christine's performance, she seemed to forget her worries onstage and she brought a wonderful sense of presence to the role.

After the tumult he was happy to find the managers quickly learned some sense and announced Christine's switch to Countess. He watched Box 5 so as to proceed when Raoul moved from his perch there. He did not move. It seemed Andre and Firmin learned quickly, but the rash young would be suitor of Christine did not. He set back to the shadows his anger growing to watch from a distance but Buquet was not going to allow that to happen. He had taken leave of his post-- the stage was in disarray because of it and he was stalking him. Something snapped in him, the emotional roller coaster ride he had been on, exhaustion and worry came to a dangerous peak and Buquet pushed him over the edge. Well, he thought, one of his demands had been met tonight one was still left, he would give them one more disaster to ensure his regaining of power. Box 5, the opera house and Christine would be his.


	6. The Devil's Child

Chapter 6 The Devils Child.

"You will curse the day you did not do-- all that the Phantom asked of you!" This was aimed at the heavens which he perceived to be working quite against him at that point. He had no religious affiliation although he had until now, respected the beliefs of those close to him. He simply abandoned these beliefs now with the same disdain he treated the superstition of the gypsies he had traveled with that dark year he had been kidnapped by an opportunist in atravelling circus.

His father was a rich man who had consulted with many doctors about his deformity. There were doctors in Germany who could help him, but they had wanted to wait until he grew older. Physically this was better for the surgeries and there were considerations such as various ways to deal with pain.

He had been kept largely in seclusion, mostly due to his mothers shame. But he was well taken care of, taught in all manners of gentility. His mother had been high strung, red hairedwoman of Scottichdescent.She had committed suicide after years of self inflicted pain due to her child's poor face. She blamed herself for his deformity. Finally one day, realizing how badly he had suffered from her persistent abuse and neglect, she in horror-- took her life. His father loved him but also could only look at him as a huge burden, one that had killed his young, delicate wife.

Finally, they were to start the surgeries in Berlin. On the way to the hospital, Erik, intrigued by the busy world he was rarely exposed to, was taking in every detail as the carriage rolled by. He saw colorful signs advertising the circus and longed to see it. Awhile after they checked in he started to become very frightened of the imminent surgeries and thought of the circus. He had heard stories of children running off to the circus. He tried to talk to his fatherabout his fears but Sir William Barlow would not listen. This child who had caused him so much pain _would_ endure these surgeries, for his wife's memory and to become a part of society and to take his place in it. He would become a suitable heir. Erik grew more frightened and took the first opportunity he had to run. The gypsies were kind and hid him but soon he fell into the hands of a dangerous man who sometimes traveled with them, when he had some unfortunate oddity to exploit. They feared him, but being the opportunists _they_ were, did not stop him. His shows drew many curious onlookers.His father searched far and wide, but the man who kidnapped him kept him hidden and it was only when they were far from Germany, did he display his prize. His father gave up eventually and went back home to England, wracked with a guilt that never ceased

After his escape he trusted no one, except Antoinette who did her best with him. But he did not speak her language, and he could not trust even _her_ fully as she reminded him so much of his mother who had abused him, emotionally and physically. The man who had taken him had crushed his spirit at the start with a story that he had demanded ransom from his father, his father rejecting his demands saying that someone who embraced the devils children instead of redemptive surgery was ungrateful and that he wanted nothing more to do with him. As he grew older Erik doubted that story but also didn't entirely reject it's possibility. It kept him from seeking him out. His father had always been cold, the only time he took for him was to take him to the doctors in hopes of being able to change his face. Erik also knew he blamed him for his wifes death. Deep down he blamed himself also. He had loved his mother despite of her abuse. He didn't like to think of this, burying his former life, and his time as a monster on display deep within. He retreated deep into the safety of the darkness.


	7. Recovery

Chapter 7 Recovery

He had learned the language eventually, and had learned by distant observation all the workings of the Operahouse. He slipped unseen into its offices, in which were stored a vast amount of ballets and Operas. Frustrated by lack of new material, he decided to write his own. He lost himself in music, worshipping it above and beyond everything. He had known how to play the piano and had found, and been allowed to take, an ancient pipe organ kept in a lower storage vault. He had made a life there. He retired now to the lair to work, sealing himself off from the world, not eating, sleeping. He had worked on this particular Opera for many years, it was his most complicated and advanced piece. He needed it now, it was to be his farewell. She had made her choice. He knew she had known he was there on the roof. He stood watching, suffering as she had chosen her perfect, adoring young man. It had wounded him to his soul. "It was hardly a face." The words still squeezed his breath from him.

She was still there at the Operahouse. This he knew from Mme. Meg had known of her mothers relationship with the Phantom, but had never known details. She only knew he looked out for her, her mother and Christine above everyone else in the Opera. With Christine's recent prompting, she finally asked her mother about him. Antoinette decided she was of an age to understand and that she had and absolute need to know. She then took her down to the lair as she knew her inquisitive child might let curiosity get the better of her and attempt it herself. She was also worried about him as he had not contacted her since that night… it had been several weeks.

There were warnings before every trap if you knew what to look for, and she taught her what to look for. They carried baskets of fruit and bread as he was not accustomed to eating much meat--anything that spoiled quickly he did without. Meg imagined he did without many things down here in the depths of the opera house. But she was awed by the sheer beauty of the place. He had his pick of old set pieces in storage, and he had a feel and love for beauty in every form. He was at the organ playing when they arrived, and did not turn around at their voices at the gate. The piece had a strange power of it's own and Meg and her mother stood silently waiting until he turned and with one motion, pulled the lever, opening the gate. He was thin, with deep hollows under his eyes. The crashing cacophony of sound he had been creating also seemed to be consuming him.

He looked at Meg brow creased, then at Mme, "If you have come about Buquet he said, it will not happen again. It was beyond my control when it happened but I will never allow myself to be out of control in that manner again. And I am leaving, he said wryly. "Christine made her choice, I am finishing this last opera-- I wish for it to be performed. That will be my last request from you Antoinette. When I am finished I will be gone."

Mmesighed and brought the baskets up. "Erik, if you are concerned about Buquet, the furor has died down. It seems no one cares much about him being gone at all. The kind of person he was _is_ beside the point however," she said firmly. " I wish you would consider the doctors I have told you of." She turned to help Meg out of the boat. "I have told her everything -- she asked and I decided it was time. We are your friends."

"No doctors!" He softened,looking at Meg."Little Meg." He strode towards them meaning to help them with the baskets but became dizzy as he did and fell promptly to the ground. He awoke to find them gone, but they left a plate of food by his bedside and a note with instructions from Mme.

_Please eat and regain your strength, I will not allow you to destroy yourself in this manner. I have talked with the managers and they now understand some about your prior arrangement here, but will not pay your salary until they see the work. This is important and amazing progress Erik, please see it that way. Of course you must stay hidden forsome timeuntil interest from the authorities has died down. Christine is still here. Raoul comes to see her daily, in his 'concern' as she has refused his invitation to take up a guest residence at the De Chagny Manor. I will come to see you soon._

It comforted him to knowChristine was still there close to him, although he knew she would soon, be entirely lost to another. He ate what was on the tray then fell back asleep.

It had been several weeks since the incident and the Operahouse had taken a sort of vacation. Firmin and Andre wanted the shock of the events to fade. Some of the immense staff had left, finally frightened off for good by the Opera Ghost, others quickly took their place, thankful for the opportunity. Life went on. Erik grew stronger but remained immersed in his work. One day he received a note in the baskets that had been left for him. It was from Meg.


	8. The Dream

_Our friend,_

_I know have always looked out for Christine, myself, and my mother. I feel now I must share with you what I know. I have hardly spoken to Christine since that night, Raoul keeps her closely guarded, himself sleeping outside her door almost every night. We have tried to impart to him no harm will come to her from you, who he fears, but he will not listen to us. She does not look well and I fear for her. I know you have your ways of reaching her. I beg of you to check on her when you have regained your strength. Would you please try?_

_Meg_

He did not know what to think of this. Christine had taken a room far from the dormitory years ago. It had been the head stable persons room before he moved out to start a family of his own. Erik had given him extra funds to nudge him out, and to offer Christine the room. Its quiet seclusion had been perfect for continuing voice lessons. There was a connecting room that he saw to was always locked. He would go tonight.

Christine had known Raoul from the days she and her father had performed for rich vacationers spending their summers in Le Havre. He had taken interest in the beautiful little girl who sang so wonderfully in accompaniment to her father on the violin. They spent much time together, several summers in a row. When her father had died she had simply vanished. All he knew was she was not there at their home by the sea the next summer. He had not forgotten her though and was now afraid of losing her again. He had become quickly infatuated and hearing the voice inside the dressing room that night, was jealous of it thinking she simply had a lover. When she had gone missing the next day his jealousy turned to fear and shame, remembering the story she told him, and the rumors of an Opera Ghost. He vowed now to protect her from whatever this _thing_ might be that haunted her.

Christine had known Erik would follow her up to the rooftop that night. She had been thinking of his safety actually, and Raoul's as well.She was doing the best she could to divert another disaster from happening that night. Raoul was so innocent, good and kind. He was the same young man who had doted on her so many years ago. She was upset and angered at Erik and the nights events. Why had he killed Buquet? Her faith had always been strong and she had always tried to live to honor the rules of her faith. She hated the weakness she saw in herself when she had succumbed to him. He brought out feelings, wants and desires she did not like in herself. She _did_ long for his touch, she _did_ want to be the reigning diva. She was intensely attracted to his power and darkness, his music bringing her an intense joy. And she did appreciate his time with her which had been platonic until now. She was confused and Raoul poured out his heart to her, offering her safety, love, kindness. And a different life than the one she knew now. She knew she would hurt Erik with her choice, but could not help herself. She was tired. She was tired of working so hard for so many years. There was constant practice--for her and Meg double that of any other ballerina/chorus girl. Her lessons from him were an added constant work load. She felt somewhere deep down inside that her voice was his only reason for wanting her. His face did not bother her, she found him attractive and knew he didn't understand this. But she knew this is what he thought and she used it to hurt him, and to end their relationship. She blamed herself for the nights events and also thought if she ended their dark relationship, there would be no more problems--disasters for the Opera house and it's inhabitants. Again she gave herself.

That first night Raoul had slept outside her room as she had refused to return with him to his home. He left guards to watch her room and had been back for her every day. Raoul kept her busy, introducing her to the upper class of Paris, taking her to the best restaurants. He bought her gowns and jewelry, some she refused, some she could not resist keeping. She had little of her own to wear in those circles. Nights were spent locked in her room however, with a guard, or sometimes Raoul himself sleeping outside her door. She resented that. She knew Erik would never harm her and tried to make Raoul understand that but he seemed to find any mention of her relationship with Erik painful, so she stopped talking of him.

She could not stop thinking of the Opera ghost. Meg had told her he was all right and still there at the Operahouse. Knowing he was still there comforted her. As the weeks grew and the authorities had given up without finding anything, she grew restless. His bondage did not desist. He would not even allow her to talk with Meg anymore and she was growing increasingly worried about something. She had missed her monthly and was starting to feel ill in the mornings.

She knew what this most likely entailed and knew an easy cure for it-- give in to Raoul's constant advances and marry him. The child would 'come early' as was the most common procedure for such mishaps. But could she deceive Raoul in this way? And she was still in love with Erik. She knew that now. Her every thought was of him, his touch, his voice. If he only had the right help she thought, they could flee. Meg had told her her mother had attempted to get him help from doctors of the mind, but he had been resistant, unwilling to trust any doctor. She did fear him.

Raoul was at her door once again and she was lost in worry about her future when she heard a soft noise from the corner. She had been close to sleep, when she heard this and wanted to dismiss it, but then again, and footsteps to her bed. She kept quiet, knowing who it was.

"Your friend is asleep outside your door," he said in an amused tone, lying down beside her. " Why do you not just allow him inside?" He pushed the covers down, wanting to hurt her, scare her. She did not resist but cried soft tears, silently. He felt the wetness of her tears and his manner changed instantly. He sat up and swung his legs to the floor, remaining seated on the bed. He spoke softly. "Meg asked me to come Christine," he sighed. " It seems they are worried about you."

"I'm so sorry. I was cruel. I know you have only loved me. I love Raoul but Ialso love you. I was confused-- you frighten me. I felt your madness would stop if I turned away." She was silent for a few moments contemplating. She sighed… "I am with child."

Erik felt dizzy again. He regained his composure slowly. He knew such a thing was possible, but had not entertained any thought of it. "You have not _been _with him ?" This was difficult for him to ask, but he had to.

"No! Of course not.." she brought her voice back down to a whisper. "That is _not_ what you think of me." He turned and gathered a quietly sobbing girl into his arms, holding her tightly. "This is a dream, you are here," she said."It is all it can be…"

Comfort turned to desire soon and he led her into the next room. This time she lost herself in his embrace, revelling in the intense pleasure unmarred by pain, trying to stifle cries that could be heard by her diligent, yet unaware young suitor.


	9. Truth

Chapter 9 Truth

Sometime before dawn he woke her gently, and they talked quietly. His mind was in a turmoil but he didn't want to leave without reassuring her. "Christine, you needn't worry. Things will return to normal soon, I promise you. Mme has told Andre and Firmin my story, and I am composing a new piece for the Operahouse. We could stay here he said softly, "you could be the new diva, and I the maestro. With you I could have the courage to seek help from the doctors I ran from before. There are some who can heal my face-- and some that can help with… my anger."

She was quiet for a moment. " Could that really happen?"

" Yes definitely. It is why I am here-- I ran from the surgeons in fear as a young child and was kidnapped and displayed in a gypsy carnival." He looked away in shame, feeling very conscious of the morning light starting to creep over the horizon. "Mme helped me to escape and I have been here since. I'm not sure about the psychologists --doctors of the mind Mme keeps telling me to seek. There are none here, as it is a new science-- I would have to go abroad. And the surgeons are in Germany. You are why I have not left."

" This would be wonderful…you _are_ my angel. This is the dream. Oh…. I don't know what to do about Raoul," she said with a furrowed brow. "He is an old _friend _Erik-- you did not understand that." And I do love him… you cannot harm him." She softened her look as she could barely make out his features that revealed a frowning Phantom. "I love you though, as I have for so long. He loves me…he would not understand. If we decided to run away now-- he would hunt us-- send everyone in his power to find me. He would never believe I went with you willingly, and would not give up."

"Very well. You must go on as if nothing happened, for awhile longer. Break it off with him gently, perhaps he will also give up his patronage of the opera house when he is discouraged." He looked outside and saw the light was beginning to show and felt instantly vulnerable. He still could not bear for her to see him, even with the mask on, he knew he was disheveled. " I must go now. I will talk to Meg and Mme and tell them why you haven't seemed-- well. He grasped her hand before he left. He bent to kiss her, then vanished. She made her way through the opening between the rooms, which then vanished as she crossed the threshold.


	10. Plans

Chapter 10 Plans

He made his way down to the lair. He would meet with Antoinette later, leave a note in the baskets. The baskets. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself now, he thought in mild annoyance. He would also include this in the note. His urge was to go straight to the organ, but his feet took him to his bed where he fell exhausted

Mme read this note and shrugged. He may be fine now physically, she thought, but when writing, he needed her aid. She left a note telling him she would bring them down in a few days instead of leaving them at the top of the stairs.

Picking up the note he grumbled and decided to simply go talk with her. The Opera house was quiet, almost empty as the employees had left for unplanned vacations until the next Opera was announced. It was unnecessary to use the back passageways. Some of these were already there when he had first arrived, some he had simply connected together, one way or another. He also knew the activity of the opera house so well as to avoid most contact, and knew how to become 'invisible' when needed. It was another skill he had developed, necessary for survival. He knocked on Mme's door. It was very early, she was there.

"Antoinette," he said, after sitting down with her. Meg wanted me to make contact with Christine. It seems she has not been allowed to speak with you or Meg"

" Of course you did go." Mme raised her eyebrows slightly. She knew him too well. " Could you not have resisted Erik?" She looked at him and sighed. "Of course you could not. Well what is it?"

He did not know how to say it in a civilized manner. " She is with child Mme-- mine." I did not take her in force Mme, you know that-- it happened that first night. It should not have happened, I know. I will see the doctors Mme, whatever it takes…" He sat looking down, his hands folded." I was so afraid of losing her."

Mme felt weak. This child she had vowed to a dying man to protect... It was her fault. She would deal with this situation as she dealt with everyone and everything inside the Operahouse walls. "What of Raoul? He will _not_ understand and simply leave."

"She wants _me_. Raoul is a friend-- one who has fallen in love with her. She will break off the relationship after some time, saying nothing of our relationship. We shall continue for some time here until it is safe. Then we will leave before she starts to--show. The money I have saved for the doctors-- it is more than enough for us to live on comfortably for a good while. I have been thinking of America for some time. There are good doctors there too Mme, the kind you wish me to see."

"The surgeons are in Germany," she said, and closer. I would like it if you stayed here at least until the baby is born, with me. You have enough money to live comfortably and have the surgeries for years at least, then America yes. You could compose there-- a new man. I would need your absolute promise to seek the psychologists there to heal your inner scars as well. Before we talk further I must speak with her." She stood and threw a shawl over her shoulders. She turned and grasped his arm, something she rarely did as he shied from touch." It will be all right."

He slipped quietly back the way he had come, this time following the secret paths, not for fear of being discovered, but in shame. "What have I done?" he thought, feeling ill at the way Mme had looked when he told her.

Mme reached Christine's room where Raoul was in watch, once again. " This must stop," she thought to herself. She knocked on the door.

"What has happened?" Raoul snapped instantly into awareness.

"I _will_ speak to Christine if I need to" she said, freezing him with her gaze. You are our Patron and we appreciate your concern but you do not own your _prize_…yet."

" He is a real man Madame, this I know, he said almost shouting." You cannot keep deluding the Christine and the entire opera house about this _man _that you are protecting. He will harm Christine…"

Christine, hearing the commotion ran to unlock the door. Antoinette looked at him sadly, " you could never understand Monsier." She turned to Christine smiling, but with tears in her eyes, " we must talk, dear girl." She entered the room, then turned to shut and lock the door.


	11. A Work Finished

Chapter 11 A Work Finished

_He did not know, he who wore his heart on his sleeve, he who observed only the good old law of Nature in the world, he who allowed  
his passions to follow their inclinations, and in whom the lake  
of great emotions was always dry, so freely did he let it off  
each day by fresh drains,--he did not know with what fury  
the sea of human passions ferments and boils when all egress  
is denied to it, how it accumulates, how it swells, how it  
overflows, how it hollows out the heart; how it breaks in inward  
sobs, and dull convulsions, until it has rent its dikes and  
burst its bed. _

Erik re-read this passage of The Hunchback of Notre Dame with Raoul in his thoughts. How could this child of fortune understand his deeply felt emotions for Christine-- his gypsy, his muse. He saw in Raoul the character of Phoebus, the handsome soldier who had the young gypsies affection. The fool of a man who yearned for her physically, yet did not consider her beyond that of a toy. He put down his well worn copy and reflected back to when he had first received it from Mme Giry.

He had devoured it. As a child he had not cared much for fiction, only wanting to read about the world, books of geography and history, magazines depicting this grand outer world he was not a part of. But this was special, he had not much to read other than the Operas he had largely already consumed. Madame had heard of the book and knew it would be of interest to him. He of course identified with Quasimodo, but was enthralled with Claude Frollo, admiring his power, his passion for knowledge and the love of a woman who did not love him back. He sawin Esmereldasome ofhis own beautiful mother who had rejected him for his ugliness. He modeled himself on the figure of the archdeacon. He was about 15 years of age then, already tall, and in the dark days of winter would go cloaked to Bibliotheque Nationale de France, a library Madame Giry had taken him to finally, exhausted by his thirst. No one would take much notice of him, in the dark deserted rows of books on magic and illusion. He spent many hours practicing, until he had learned every magicians trick available for him to learn. He meddled with alchemy, but he did not have the patience-- or madness for that he finally decided. From the book he also developed a great love of architecture. He wanted desperately to see the actual star of the story, the fantastic Notre Dame Cathedral. Dutifully awed, this spurred him out on nights when the moon was full, taking in the beautiful gothic La Sainte Chapelle and the Louvre, whose outer self was so beautiful it impressed him enough to go _inside_. Summoning every ounce of courage he had, curiously cloaked, but not noticing the stares, distracted by the beauty displayed within. These trips also gave him the boldness to purchase his own goods from the many who linedParis streets in those earliest of hours, before dawn, with the money he earned for the operas he presented. Yes this book was his bible. In the last few years had identified with the pain of the priest cursed with a forbidden, consuming desire. But his Esmerelda loved him, he thought. He was unsure.

The past month he had spent finishing the Don Juan Triumphant. He could not stand the thought of Piangi playing the part of a handsome Don Juan, shuddered at the thought of Christine playing opposite him. There was no one else to play the part however he sighed, just as Carlotta had no understudy, neither did Piangi have use for one. Mme had talked to Christine. She understood all that was happening and what she needed to do. She satisfied herself that this what Christine wanted. But Raoul persisted. Erik finally decided Christine should play along with him and they would simply leave the night of the performance, afteritwas performed. He owed her that. He had refashioned his opera to illustrate to an audience their love and desire for each other.

Raoul stopped guarding her door after the last confrontation with Antoinette, and after no further events had occurred, stopped posting guards as well. Erik took Christine to practice her part as he was writing it still. She was growing more at ease with him, but he would not take off the mask. One night as they were passing through the secret passageways, she saw some light at a place in the wall and stopped to look. There was the managers office inside. Firmin was sitting in a chair looking quite contented. She gasped as she saw one of the dancers kneeling before him. Erik looked back at her gasp and turned to see what it was she was viewing. He rolled his eyes-- this did not surprise him-- and quickly pulled her from the peephole, uncomfortable with the display. Christine had been shocked by this and uncomfortable as well, but... used this knowledge to her advantage later. She enjoyed the control she had over the creature of myth she had 'married' in her mind. She also enjoyed the humor she was amazed to find he posessed, and was more and more impressed with his genius as she spent hours while he worked, looking through old scores he had written.

She spent less and less time with Raoul, using the excuse that she was practicing for a new Opera. She would have the lead, but it was to be kept secret from all especially Carlotta for some time. It would be announced New Years Eve she told him. But...the more time she spent with Raoul the fonder she grew of him. He was young and brash, but he did have a simple childlike love for her she adored. He wanted to marry her, but she desisted, using the boundaries of class distinction as her armor. "We shall play as lovers Raoul, pretend. But you must know I could never marry you." He was leaving soon to join the military, as rumors of war persisted. She thought that would be the end of the whole affair. But he would not let her go.

He wanted her to marry him before he left. She was with child. What kind of parent would Erik make? If he indeed sought assistance from the doctors, would they really help him with his insecurities, uncontrollable rages? A part of her was still frightened of him. Raoul insisted all would be well if she were to marry him, there were many great divas who ended up marrying royalty. But she was not a great diva yet. It was why he put up with her practices, and with her spending less time with him. He had not forgotten her Phantom. It was believed by most however that he was gone.

He was there however, watching them at times when he returned her to her room, and other times, in the shadows when they attended various events. This is how it should be for her he thought, a normal life with and adoring young man at her side, he thought sadly. He grew not to hate Raoul, but to have a greater understanding of him, to acknowledge his qualities. He only felt sadness for him.

He decided to make an entrance the night of the grand ball masque. It would establish his control at the opera house until his opera was performed. He did not like the thought of having to present his work to the managers before being paid-- considered it an insult. But they would not believe that he had really written the previous fantastic works of which he was proud. He had been sitting for some time drinking enough to brace himself for the event, growing angrier by the moment at the thought of the activity going on above him, angry he was not a part of the outside world he cherished. He would 'present' his works.


	12. The Descent

Chapter 12 The Descent

Erik set his glass down and made the trek upstairs, the further he climbed, the louder the raucous. He had fixed it the night before to dim the gas lights for his entrance, he was armed although he was not the best swordsman, he just needed to _look_ menacing. He and Christine had talked and discussed this night. It was decided that they would allow their relationship to become apparent to all. At least their relationship as teacher/student. He was first and foremost a showman and was anticipating the night.

Christine had partaken of the wine Raoul had pressed upon her and was feeling disoriented amongst the costumes, dancing and merriment. Raoul asked her again to marry him in the middle of it all giving her a beautiful ring--her resistance was down and she foolishly said yes. She would give it back soon she thought, but wanted to keep it… awhile longer. She could not hurt Raoul. When he pressed upon her to wear it she immediately felt fear. "No we can't let people see Raoul, not yet. Not until I am a big star-- soon." She strung it around her neck and swept up in the moment kissed him passionately. It was not the same. She was relieved. Her choice was a good one. She looked around for her Phantom who would soon appear.

There were matters to discuss he thought at the top of the stairs before he ascended. Christine would be star, that he had already been granted. But the business of the dancers 'attending' the managers must be addressed. Monsieur Le Fevere had been of outstanding character and had resisted the temptations of the 'casting couch'. It seemed these two had entered this profession _because _of this temptation. From the beginning they had leered at the dancers, in this Carlotta had been right. And he remembered the way Mme Giry fumed at their interest in her daughters. He would curtail this now. He thought maybe he could scare Piangi into losing some weight for the role, although he knew this to be most likely futile. The drink was warming him and he had a great confidence as the lights dimmed. It was all going well, he thought until he laid his eyes upon Christines bodice. She was not showing yet, but had begun to swell there and he had followed this development with interest…there was something there. Instantly he realized what it was and the black rage that was also a part of him enveloped him. He exited hurriedly before he could harm her, Raoul foolishly following him. He watched him amusedly for a few moments while he collected himself before dropping the noose as a warning and exiting. Madame Giry had been waiting for his sign and took care of him he presumed.

Back in the lair his rage had fully dissipated and turned to anguish. She had chosen him finally, her Phoebus, the golden perfect boy. He should never have allowed her to continue seeing him, but it had seemed the only way. How could she ever love _him_ truly-- a monster. Yes the surgeons could help him, but what he had been told as a child was they could help him, but he would never appear normal. She accepted him now of course, but with the promise of a miracle in the future. She was with child-- his child. It was too late for her to pass off the child as Raoul's. One such as he would look upon her horrified, reject her, Erik was sure, when the truth was told. He did not think Christine understood this. Raoul viewed her as his prize-- tarnished he would cast her aside. The scandal of a marriage out of class could be accepted, but not a marriage where the birth of the first child was too soon. Even if Raoul accepted her-- his family would not and he would surely be cut off from all fortune. At this moment something inside of him broke. Sanity left him quietly and was replaced with one purpose. The possession of his angel.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Into Madness

Christine had confidence in Raoul. He loved her. He would accept her-- condition. She was sure of this. She had not yet confessed to him however, hoping to be forgiven and collected again by her Phantom. As the days went by she lost hope. She had been weak and lost him. She begged Meg and Antoinette to talk to him, but Mme had decided in her heart that this was what was best and warned Meg to not approach him. She did not believe Raoul _would _accept the situation…but did not tell Christine her thoughts. She remembered herself in a very similar situation years before with Meg. She would take care of Christine she thought. They needed no men.

She had found him, after the masquerade, singing gently of his love. Respecting his privacy, but feeling the need to warn him of Raoul, she whispered across the water after he had finished. "Erik"

He had pulled the lever dramatically and trod back to his table where a bottle of champagne awaited. " Come…please," he motioned to the bottle. She noticed the extra glass on the table. He saw her glance. " This was to be a celebration tonight, yes."

She sighed sitting down. "Christine will be guarded again," she said.

"That hardly matters. She made her choice."

"I had not known she still had one," she said, eyebrows raised, "you will abandon her then?"

He frowned at her. "When the Opera is done-- I will leave. The plans are already in motion, I have my travel plans made--I have already shipped my collection of music to a house in Germany. I will wire an offer of an extremelylarge sum of money to the surgeons tomorrow. I would like it done quickly." He looked at her, angerclouding his eyes, "maybe there will be someone who can accept me-- once I am 'presentable'. I want to leave for America as quickly as I can and forget this life."

"You must leave sooner," she said, picking up the glass he had poured her. "Raoul is going to the authorities. He has some power, Erik. They will respect his position."

" I will never own this work and it is my best so far. I have worked on it off and on for years-- you know that. I cannot leave until it is done."

" I know why you cannot leave," she said, even if you don't. But you have made your choice as well it seems. We will care for her, Meg and I. You will stay in contact with me whatever happens," she said firmly. "Perhaps you may come back someday to collect what is yours." She said this implying the opera, but they both knew what she truly meant.

"You must warn them away from the lair Mme," I want no more blood on my hands." His anger was dissipating with the wine and the calming presence of his only friend.

"I will do my best. I will inform you of any plans they make. I think they fear you too much to blunder down here. Raoul also seems to understand Christine's feelings for you, he will not attempt to harm you while he is betrothed to her. He makes himself believe he fears for her safety, but what he fears is her feelings towards you. He knows nothing still, she will not tell him of the child until the night of the performance-- after she is a 'star'. I am sure of it." There was nothing else she could do or say now so she left. He knew she was right and quietly started to sketch some set designs.

Raoul had taken up guard in front of Christine's room again, as the operahouse swung back into full operation. The easily spooked had left, those remaining uneasy, but happy to partake in the amazing work presented. Rehearsals were long and grueling as Erik had presented an impossible deadline. He wanted it done before she started to show, and before they could organize enough to take him. He haunted every secret pathway of the building overseeing the production and keeping abreast of any organized attempt against him.Don Juan Triumphantcame along extraordinarily, all complying with the respect and hard work he demanded-- and received.

The morning before the performance saw his opportunity. The graveyard. He was simply planning to abduct her from the stage, something easily done, as the expert stage hands had placed his carefully thought out set design exactly to the measurements he required. He had known from her prayers she wished for his return desperately but he would not allow himself to contact her. He could not allow her to have second thoughts. This was what was best for her. But-- even if it went as smoothly as possible, he knew there would be great destruction to the opera house.He also did not want to take chances injuring her. The net he had prepared would protect them physically, but he was not sure about the shock--and the baby.He had been searching for any other way. He knew she would visit her fathers grave before her performance. He felt this was his only true power over her still--his connection to her father. Although she knew he was no ethereal being, he knew shestill believedher father had sent him to her, nonetheless. It was not honest or fair he thought, but it was what must happen.

He knew he would not have much time before Raoul pursued them, therefore he made haste. Seeing her there cold, sadly singing, tore him inside. It had been another reason to avoid her. He could not resist her. It was time now though. He had set up the tomb days before for his 'magic', and picked up the violin he had learned to play expertly,years ago. She was ready. He knew she would come to him now, _leave _with him tonight, willingly.

Raoul was there. Rage suddenly flooded him once again and he fought him with fury. He came to his senses as he saw blood. His promise to Christine loomed in front of his mind as he calmed…he had promised to not harm Raoul. He would not.

Humiliated in front of her his mind quickly formulated another plan. He had been willing to allow Piangi to absurdedly play the part of Don Juan, but his last bits of sanity drained as he thought of how she had looked at him just now. He would give them an opera tonight to remember him by. She could not resist him, under the spell of his music. He would turn the tables, she would be bait and Raoul would be prey. He would leave alone tonight yes, but he would not allow _her_ to be rejected and humiliated. She would hate him-- but better she hate him than know the pain and rejection the shallow creature would inflict upon her once he knew of her relationship with the 'monster' whose child she would bear.


End file.
